Third entry's the charm.

This is the third blog entry I've started today...and no, you're not missing something, this is the only one that I've published - assuming this one does get that far.

Sadly, everything will NOT fit into one blog of decent length. I realize that there are two things that I love to do. Love with inordinate, borderline obsessive passion. Photography and writing. But while I love photography, I think I hate the politics of it. I've learned some great lessons - but all of those lessons point to the conclusion that I would be perfectly happy working for someone taking pictures. I don't want to charge people money for my services, but it's a necessity now - because I keep running into these situations where people who barely know me want me to take pictures for them for free. I need to be really firm with people, because there's this awkward situation brewing where, despite signing a contract, there's a chance that I'm not getting paid for something that I did.

But that writing - not that there aren't lessons to be learned and disappointments to be had with that too. But the boy keeps putting candyland dreams in my head of me publishing something. Oh do I want to believe him, that I'm good enough, that I could do it. But it's like a toy just inches out of reach. Even on my tippy toes, I can't quite get there.

I would have to describe this as a season of a lot of heavy introspection. I'd like to think, at the end of it, I'll come out better for it. I wish I could share it all, but you would be incredibly bored with me by the end of it, not to mention the loops I go through.

But anyway. Lan party at Jeremy and Jenny's today. They have a really awesome new house. I'm really happy for them - they've waited so long for it, and had to go through so much yarg. Had fun - I miss getting together with everybody, so it was nice to see people. Too bad Adrienne was sick, though.

So about Thanksgiving...