Lessons Learned (Part I)

These past few months, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking - about life in general, the lessons I’ve learned,
how experiences have shaped me. Stuff like that. I have yet to come to any earth-shattering conclusions, but
I’d still like to share a little about what I’ve been thinking.

For almost four years now, I’ve doubted my decisions. Sometimes I’ve even thought that maybe I threw away all of my opportunities. That I’m not as valuable as other people. I didn’t go the 4 year college route, instead I got a quick certificate in graphic design that satisfied my parents’ desire for further education and my desire to get it over with. (Also, why spend four years being confused when you can do it in 11 months?) My first “real” job was a miserable experience all around, the worst part being the last few months of sexual harassment where I was told that I should break up with my then fiance’ … implication being, to be with this person. Being young and naïve, I thought this person was just being nice to me until it became clear otherwise, at which point I felt … awful.

I fled to Michigan, where jobs were in short supply and I was handed a bitter lot. Just enough job experience that retail places passed me over, too little to get a stable job, and no four year degree to boot. I worked some odd jobs to keep myself afloat - each doing just that, and ending in strange circumstances. Out of the hundreds of job applications I sent out in the first 11 months, I had three calls and two of them resulted in short term jobs. Jobs fall into my sister-in-law and husband’s hands, for which they are blessed. This time period is likely a large reason for my mother-in-law’s dislike of me. I know (from other people telling me) that she thinks I’m lazy and don’t do anything. It would have been hard enough on my ego without this, but she cemented the complete annihilation of my self-esteem.
Growing up, I was sure that I was supposed to be special. My dreams were always fairly ambitious. But there were a few years where I was questioning everything.

Well, I’ve realized that while I didn’t go the traditional route, I can’t regret anything I’ve done. I’ve got some remarkable experience that others my age are just starting to figure out. In four years, I’ve held four very different types of jobs, gone to school, moved across the country, gotten married, and survived numerous things that are just insane. Like, getting flooded out of our first apartment three months into marriage. The way I see it now … if I can do THIS, and come out the other end okay, I can do pretty much anything. It doesn’t matter what other people think, and it doesn’t matter that I’ve taken a different route. I’m an awesome person, and I’m okay with that.