Life Lessons (Part III)

The answer to all of my weird and deep questions: "Why does it matter?"

I have trouble finding motivation, because I have these grand ideas of a motivation fairy. So I will only write when the motivation strikes my fancy. I realize that this is shameful and doesn't work. But I asked myself, "why does it matter?" and realized some things. It matters because writing makes me deliriously happy (most of the time), and because I would love beyond words to write, get published, and help my husband out enough that he isn't bound to his desk job of doom. I know that the "likelihood of getting published/making a sustainable amount" is very low. But I'll never know if I'm one in a million if I don't try, right? Wouldn't it be better, at the end of your life, to look back and know that you fell on your face because you tried, rather than wondering what if?

The "why does it matter?" question is a really versatile one. When properly applied, you start to see things through a different filter. That's not to say that your entire life has to be constantly busy or purposeful. "because it makes me happy/it helps me unwind/takes my mind off of things..." is a perfectly legitimate reason for things. But if you apply it to your people pleasing tendencies, you might see that constantly putting others first only *hurts* you. I've been using this "matter filter" a lot lately, and man ... I can't tell you the perspective and clarity I have on some things.

What matters? Well, my husband matters, for one. If there are things that I can do to help him, that's great. Conversely, I don't want to do things that hamper or hurt him.

My friends matter. I've been very blessed the past few years to have made some phenomenal friends. Good friends are more than worth their weight in gold.

Loving people matters. James 1:27 says that pure and undefiled religion is this: to look after widows and orphans in their need. John 13:34 says that we are to love one another as Christ has loved us. I think there's more to it than literal widows and orphans, at any rate. I'm not perfect, absolutely, but I genuinely hope to be someone that loves others and gives what I can for them.

..and so on, and so forth. I had a very long talk with the boy last night, and a lot of different things were covered. This is just a cliff-notes version of a little bit of it. :)

I think though, for the bigger things you want to do (the dreams, if you will) you should ask yourself why it matters. I think either you'll discover something, or you'll realize that it really doesn't. My new theory on motivation is this... that you need a "short term" motivation - a spark that gets you going. Then you need the "long term" motivation - the thing that keeps you going.

So hopefully I've given you some food for thought, or some insight, or some entertainment in my past few mega-introspective posts. There's a lot more that I could/would share, but I'm not sure how, or that it matters. This all is largely the result of three + months of some heavy thinking on my part.

I'm really excited about this time in my life. I feel like the world is open to lots of possibilities. I feel like I'm going to live and not merely exist...ya know?