God is Good.

I realize that while I make references about going to church and such, I don't really often talk about my faith and my relationship with God. Well, tonight, I have the time to actually share the things that have been on my mind lately.

I struggle with not feeling like my life is an entire waste, sometimes. I have a hard time feeling out how I contribute anything to anybody, given my inability to go anywhere or work. It's not so depressing as it sounds, I'm just saying that had I the resources, there's so much I'd love to do, and I feel really limited at the time being. In trying to overcome that, I created a list of 10 goals that I would like to complete in the next year. I tried for things that are clearly definable, and that I can clearly lay out steps for so that they are not overwhelming. I'm not going to say that it has revolutionized my entire life, but for the first time I can see measurable progress, which is awesome. But I came up with one goal that is neither clearly defined nor easily mapped out. It's something like "have a better relationship with God/have a consistent study time/or something."

I'm never really sure how to go about such a thing, since I can barely define what I'm looking for. I just know there's something better to be had out there, and I want it. My prayers wander and until I finish reading the Bible all the way through (another goal), I struggle with the patience and diligence to really study. But I stumbled on an idea somehow on teh interwebs: a prayer journal - a different sort than I've heard of before, where you actually write out what you wish to pray. More like a letter, less like a grocery list. I was skeptical, but decided to try it. Surprisingly, it's made a huge difference to me. If nothing else, it helps me WANT to pray, because my mind wanders less.

But in the short time I've been doing this, I've already seen what I consider some pretty awesome answers to my prayers, and I feel inclined to share.

- I have a cousin in-state who has been out of a job since spring. His wife has also been unable to find work. They started looking out of state. But my uncle and his wife moved out here about 5 years ago to be with my cousin (their only child). If cousin moved, uncle and aunt could not afford to follow, also, aunt has MS and is not very well. Just this weekend, John found a job that will keep him local! It's a temp job, but he could very well become permanent ...

- A friend who has been unable to find work was just given two job offers.

- My cranky, depressed husband finally had an epiphany and has since been much, much happier. He's actually playing music again and wanting to DO things! (Like take road trips)

- Been praying for wisdom in the whole car situation and said that no matter what, that I trusted that the mustang would last me as long as I needed it to, and no more. Walked away from being close to buying a couple different cars because they really didn't feel like the right car. Mustang went kapoop, and I've been okay with that. Well, my dad had the thought to actually take a look at the mustang today, and he got the car out of park by flicking at a switch under the dash. While the transmission does have a leak, this problem is absolutely remediable. Also, father in law has offered to try and FIX the leaky door problem that results in me being frozen out of car all winter. I don't really know what to make of it, but I'm willing to give it a go. It might not be a car that I'd drive any great distance, but if it could get me groceries and back...But either way, I'm satisfied.

...That's all I can think of, off the top of my head. Sorry that it's a lot to get through. But I've been wanting to share something ... I just didn't really know what.