Cars. ugh.

Long, EXHAUSTING story short, I found a really sweet Elantra today. It was just absurdly loaded - leather seats, heated seats, moonroof ... in addition to the bluetooth, cruise control, volume on the steering wheel, ipod dock, etc.

Everything just happened too fast. I fell for the "but there are other people who want it!" thing - which, they were being truthful, but I had decided a while ago that if I found the "perfect car" but lost it to someone else, it wasn't the perfect car. I just tried to force the situation though, and it was just way stressful. What should have been a fun experience, just got to be too much. So I did walk away, and I was really more relieved than sad when I did.

My head is just all jumbled. I really like the Versa I found. Like, a LOT. But I think I'm happy because it reminds me of the focus. I think, all things considered, I'd take the focus over the versa, but it's like 4k more. Technically we could do the focus at this point, but it would be more stressful than it's worth. So I could do the Versa, and I don't think I'd regret it. It's a wonderful car, and not over extravagant. But after today, I'm just so burnt out that the idea of not buying ANYTHING sounds phenomenal.

But things to consider, like:
- winter will be long and harsh with no car.
- we're paying more than the value of the car between it's insurance and maintenance.
- the mustang, well, it really might NOT survive 'til spring...
- but if we wait until spring, we could have a more sizable down payment.
- I really DO like that versa.
- I could get a pt job with a car, which would help pay it off quicker ...
- But I can't save up quicker by not getting a car, because I cannot get a pt job. or have any income. or be a valuable member of society ... arooo ...

Seriously, I'm so stressed out by all of this that my appetite is wiped out. I'm only eating to keep going, really, because I really DIDN'T eat for Sunday/Monday, and that wasn't good. Scary thing is that Matt and I have both noticed the weight change because of it. I mean, cool beans and all, but stress isn't the preferred method ...

I really need some good sleep - oh - yeah, haven't slept well in a while either, which isn't helping. I need a nice diversion. The awesomest would be if someone wanted to go out to lunch tomorrow or something ... just somethin like that.

Sorry if I sound dramatic. The trifecta of being stressed + lack of appetite + lack of sleep aren't good. I don't mean to be dramatic ... I just find this all SO stressful!