What oh what have we gotten ourselves into?

A lot to say today...

Matt's car is going to be the death of me. It's something new every week. Nothing that's "life threatening" to the car, but it's stuff that you need to have working in order to pass a car inspection. (Like, idk, back up lights) I keep thinking that it's only a matter of time before something serious does go wrong with it, and at this rate, it'll be two weeks from now. It's frustrating, because I know exactly what's wrong with Larry, and it's fixable, and if he were willing, I believe my father-in-law could fix it. Larry's predictable, and not doing this wild-card thing that Matt's neon is. It's going to give me an ulcer. I know that God is bigger than we are and if He really wants us to move somewhere, He'll give us the transportation to get there. But must it be a nail-biter? Sometimes I wonder if God thinks seeing me spaz out is funny. Maybe it is to Him...me, notsomuch.

Everything is so "temporary" right now. I wonder if this how it feels to be terminal, listening to other people make plans, and you can't commit to anything, because you don't know what next week will bring. It's also overwhelming. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better about it when I know exactly what, if anything we're dealing with. I can, well, plan to have no plans, or something.

So, speaking of terminal...wow, that's an awkward transition...I had a brilliant idea, though I have no idea how I would ever follow through on it. There's an organization called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep", which has photographers all over the country who donate their time to take portraits of families whose infants die. That way the family will always have some nice, tasteful pictures of their babies. Well, some people dear to me are going to find out today "how bad it is" with the husband's cancer. It doesn't look very good. But this lady has wanted me to come over and take a portrait of her family since last year, only, she can't get the whole family together. I began to wonder to myself if she had any recent pictures of her and her husband, or if she'd want any of them before he starts chemo. I didn't say anything to her, but it got me thinking. Wouldn't it be amazing to take free family portraits for people who have terminal family members, so that they have some nice pictures of their loved ones. Again, I have no idea how I would ever go about it, but ever since I thought of it...I can't stop thinking about it. It's like it's been cattle branded into my mind. I kinda tried to google it, and I haven't seen anything like that...then again, I could have just had the wrong keywords. I dunno...man. It fills the tugging on my heart to want to do something good for people, and the fact that I don't really want to charge for photography. But...no idea how one goes about that. I don't suppose you walk up to people, hand them your business card and say "hey, if you or a loved one is planning on dying, give me a call."

No idea what's going on this weekend. I feel the urge to make lists. What I need to do before we leave next week, what we need to pack, stuff like that. Even if I never follow them, lists feel theraputic.

OH! I finished Isaiah last night. I can't wait until I actually finish everything and can go back to it in a little more scholarly manner. But you need to walk before you can run...or so I hear.