There is nothing new under the sun

"I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks up!"

It drives me batty when people don't listen. I feel like, when they don't listen, it's because I'm not forceful enough. My foot will hover in mid-air for longer than most, so when I put my foot down, you darn well better take me seriously. While reserving my opinion for when it matters can be a good trait, I think it also leaves me prone to excessive frustration when I say something and it falls on deaf ears. One of the many things I need to figure out in life.

"...as the mysteries come undone
and at the end of all our travels
we find our journey's just begun"

Ever have a time where things suddenly started "clicking"? That'd be this week. Relatively speaking, it's been raining answers. Naturally, it only leads to more questions and hard decisions, but isn't that the way of it? You clear a level of tetris, but the pieces keep falling. I feel good about what's going on though, even the knot on my shoulder says otherwise. I'm seeing myself and the world with refreshing clarity. Even if for just a moment, I am optimistic.

"And right before we fade away
Call a spade a spade
And You should know
You can tell
It's a Bittersweet world"

It's that time of year. For the third "dead of winter", my mitral valve is kicking my butt. I'm not sure if it really is the time of year, or if coincidentally, stressful stuff happens this time of year. Even on days when I'm not getting specific heart flutters, I tend to feel like someone mopped the floor with me. Sleeping too much, not feeling rested, taking naps...general weariness. I recognize it all very well. I've been exercising consistently, so I think that's a big help in keeping it better than it could be...but I might have to keep a close eye on my sugar and caffeine for the next few weeks. (Almost a silly thing to say, since we don't consume a lot of either.) Should also try and hammer my sleep schedule back into place, since that can't be helping either. It's a comfort knowing what's physically wrong and that there are things I can do to fix it, but that doesn't mean that it's not frustrating when a trip to walmart wipes me out more than it should. It is what it is.

Good night, all. I'm off to enjoy the first Grey's Anatomy in several weeks. :)