I belong ...

This bowling thing came as a fluke. My mother in law asked me if I'd like to bowl with her on Thursday mornings, and, ever willing to please, I agreed. I didn't really understand at the time what a bowling league was, or that I was, in fact, joining one.

I admit that I was pretty terrified of the ladies at first. They all had this camaraderie with each other - the kind that really only comes from hanging out with each other for years. They always invited me and Kelly out to lunch with them. However, she was always "tired or sick" afterwards, so we never went. It was until after Kelly quit, that I finally was able to accept their lunch invitations. I'm not even sure why I accepted. I think I just wanted to be part of them.

It wasn't until this bowling year that I finally caught onto, "wow, these ladies really like me!", because they kept prodding me to go to tournaments with them. I never really had a lot to offer, because I'm at a totally different phase of life than the rest of them. I'm young, somewhat newly married, just discovering life. They're all widows at least once over, in their late 50's- to mid 70's, and discussing things like getting their pensions. So on some level, the fact that I got a lunch invitation every week never ceased to surprise me.

I'm going to Nationals in a few weeks with them. Today, Sherry gave me a shirt, my very own bowling shirt. It has my name embroidered on the front (spelled correctly, too!), with their logo on the back. I was so beyond flattered that I really had to think a second so as not to start crying. I belonged! I was one of them!

Then the league voted to bowl in Imlay City next year. Pretty much the only condition under which I told Matt I absolutely couldn't bowl next year, was if they chose Imlay City. Taking the interstate, it's 39 miles and a little over 40 minutes. I wouldn't do the interstate in the winter, which means it would be more miles and way more time, likely around an hour. I could meet one of the ladies, but I would have to drive on the icky dirt back roads in order to do so, and with Michigan being what it is ...

So, it's pretty much definite that I won't be bowling next year. Surprisingly, even to myself, I'm really heartbroken. I thought I'd take it better than this. I felt like I was looking at the other ladies like someone terminal might, knowing that it's likely I'll never see most of them again. I didn't tell anyone that I won't be bowling, because I figured I would wait until it becomes official that we're bowling at Imlay City. (Though I think Sherry knew, because she knows me just well enough.)

I don't want to seek out another league. It just doesn't feel right. This league wasn't really competitive, they were in it for the fun, and I don't know of many leagues like that.

I guess it'll have to be enough that, for one day, I have proof, that I belonged.