Assorted Topics (Warning: Long post)

This is going to be a long one, I guarantee it. So, if you don't have the time or interest, back out now.

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With a few exceptions, I've noticed a theme as I've gotten older: the more "churched" someone is, the more irritating, selfish, and sometimes downright cruel they are. Yes, there are exceptions on both sides. I'm trying to figure out how to put this politely...

One of the ladies from my bowling league goes to my mother-in-law's church. I roomed with her, her daughter and sister at the tournament this week. This lady is pretty nice, I give you that. I still like her. But she and her daughter spent the entire three days talking trash and backbiting - on the other ladies were bowling with, on her own sister. And oh, how they could complain! At the end of the trip, I was feeling really suffocated being around them. Conversely, there are the bowling ladies that I usually eat lunch with. In the two years, they have never really talked smack about anybody we bowl with, except maybe to say, "I'm not sure X and X like us very much." or "I'm not surprised they didn't come (to lunch), they usually don't." Of course, the latter are the ones who don't set foot in church on a regular basis. Why is that? Why is it that once we're licensed, card-carrying Christians, we reserve the right to become some of the most cruel people in existence?

It makes you think about what you say, anyway. I understand the need to vent, to be completely frustrated. In an ideal world, we would be able to understand intent and swallow our pride and hurts, and not need to vent. But I do understand that sometimes ... it happens. It's just the constant nips and jabs. What happened this week, it probably won't affect how I interact with the above women in the long run. I'll be as polite and friendly as usual, because that's what I do.

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I'm really struggling with "getting over" something. There is just one incident that I have struggled with over and over again in the past year, to let it go. Just when I was making progress, something else happened to bring it to the forefront of my mind, and now I'm trying my very very hardest not to give into being bitter over it. If I can just ... If I can manage to forgive this, it will be a major victory. But how hard is it to show mercy to someone when they refused to grant you mercy in a VERY similar situation a year prior. I don't want to be merciful. I want to rub their face in it, to point it out, to be bitter, to fume, to use this as the ultimate excuse to break ties.

But if I don't have love ... I have nothing.

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I've been extremely tired since getting back from Canton. I didn't sleep well while I was gone, and slept moderately well last night, but have been running everywhere. I've also been fighting a cold - not a really bad one, but enough to be a bit of a drain. I desperately need some down time, because I'm fast approaching the point where I feel like I have nothing left to give. Amazing how quickly time gets away from us, and how hard it is to get it back.

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Oh, speaking of Canton! I bowled freaking awesome the second day. All 6 games (phew!) were over my average, the best being a 180, but also having scores in the 140's and 150's. I won a couple of small prizes, and the bowling ladies think that I might very well end up taking some cash prize, but I won't know that for a few months. Go me. :)