Die-vorce

Growing up, I was shocked to learn that one of my aunts had been married before my uncle, and that my cousin had a different father. I thought having three sets of grandparents was normal - didn't everyone? In the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade, the teacher who taught in the room next to ours changed her name and I was a bit confused at first, however, I was more afraid by the revelation of "dissecting a cow eye". So I guess you could say that I was fortunate, and didn't have a whole lot of experience with divorce.

I am always a little shocked at the reasons people choose to divorce, because they range from the absolute serious (He was physically abusive and I feared for my life) to the completely absurd (I just don't feel in love with her any more). As I've become more aware of the world, I've seen more divorce.

I don't particularly consider myself a "newlywed", who is still blissfully ignorant and believes her spouse to be faultless, or the world to be a perfect blue. I think the hubby and I are pretty well-grounded in this area. Though when the first full day of your married life leaves you in a sweltering apartment with an anxious dog and a power outage, I think you sober up pretty quickly. So all that to say, I don't think I have a prettily jaded view on things, but I don't understand what drives people to divorce. What is so big that cannot be overcome?

One couple had been married for over 10 years, and had healthy, rambunctious children. They weren't the most wealthy, but they had a house and made their ends meet. They worked hard for what they had, but by all accounts, didn't struggle. One day, the wife up and leaves, refuses all of her husband's requests for counseling, and demands a divorce.

I've seen many cases where husbands come home one day and tell their wives that it's over. They don't love them anymore. Do they really have such a fickle understanding of love?

What's the worst is the Christian divorce, because that one, above all, makes the least sense. Now, I have a few Christian friends who have been divorced. This is the epitome of "love the sinner, hate the sin", because I truly love them, even if I don't fully understand or necessarily agree with them. But with the exception of violence - is divorce really necessary?

My director announced last week that she and her husband of at least 25 years are divorcing. I'm surprised for many reasons, and I admit that curiousity is killing the cat. She had a very (very) nice house, well-dressed, three children (two of them grown), and a successful business. She "had it all", and yet, I wonder what could be so wrong that divorce and moving an hour away was the only answer.

I tend to wonder, if couples really felt like they could confide in each other, if they could talk about real issues, instead of putting up these facades of happiness, I wonder if some divorces could be adverted. Of course, though, this would require admitting that one's marriage isn't perfect, and no one wants to do that.

It's the death of a marriage, it's the ripping of one flesh into two. It isn't natural, and it's extremely painful. How this 'last resort' has become so common is baffling.