Here is what I have learned about parenting from status updates and blogs:
- Once you have kids, you are completely unable to talk about anything else for the first five years or until you have at least 4 children, whichever comes first.
- You must tell the entire world what you child is doing at ALL times. The younger the child is, the more frequently they must be monitored. Be sure to let everyone know the first time you bundle them up and take them in the car...and yes, we all want to know how many times you breastfed and how sore your boobs are.
- You will not sleep for the first four years of your child's life...and it's quite possible that the child will sleep WITH you for at least half that duration. Parenthood just sounds better and better.
- Illness will ping pong around your household, you will constantly be cleaning up puke and telling everyone ALL about it.
- It will take you at least four hours to get baby ready to leave the house to run errands.
- You will be too exhausted and too broke to ever go anywhere.
- You will stop trying for anything and settle for completely demeaning jobs you hate.
And yet, with all of this, you're supposed to tell me that it is "sooooo totally worth it" and that I will find ultimate fulfillment in this? Yeah, suuuure.
Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I've seen awesome kids and parents and I tip my hat to them. I just find it funny that you're supposed to want kids after these daily horror stories.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I get too much sleep as it is...are you sure you don't want some kids to help me with that?
HAHAHAHAHAHA awesomest post ever!!
Thank God I actually get sleep. Also when my kids puke, they have to clean it up THEMSELVES!! (Okay, that was a joke.)
:D
Post a Comment